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Fic: Scratch That, Not At All Fantastic (Merlin, NC-17, Slash) 
9th-Dec-2008 10:05 am
Merlin - LETS HUG IT OUT, BITCH
Title: Scratch That, Not At All Fantastic
Author: [info]bakarini
Genre: Gen, Slash
Word Count: 1,392
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Merlin/Knight, Arthur watching
Summary: Arthur wonders how long Merlin's been having semi-secluded sex in the castle, because either Merlin was better at being sneaky, or destiny likes to fuck with his mind. Because he just keeps on walking in on his manservant doing not so apropriate things.
In Which: Arthur is a 'before bed milk drinker,' and Merlin takes advantage of the kitchen's thick doors.
Prequel:
(1) Not All That Fantastic
(2) Maybe A Little Fantastic, But That Was It

Scratch That, Not At All Fantastic

It was the middle of the night and he couldn’t quite get back to sleep. There had been a cute little kitchen girl, Margaret – who really wasn’t a girl at all; she was the daughter of Arthur’s wet nurse. Not the child she’d had at the same time as Arthur – that had been a baby boy of her own, and he had not survived. Margaret, was four years Arthur’s senior, a barren widow who enjoyed a roll in the hay every once in awhile, and since – well, barren and widow were two pretty good words for a prince to having a tryst with, they met each other more often than not.

Not that she was the only one; but Arthur was comfortable with her, as she with him. She didn’t question his moods and didn’t talk incessantly. She kept to herself and didn’t grow attached to him, and honestly it was the best sexual relationship a guy could ask for.

Outside of being able to go around having semi-public sex around Camelot’s castle.

It had been nearly a week since finding Merlin and Baiwen in the stables, and the memories haunted him as though he only just walked in on them the previous evening. And he’d had quite enough of his own hand, because pleasuring yourself could only do you so much; and for the last few nights, Margaret had been helping him with his late night restlessness.

She would stay for awhile. Stay until he would drift off to sleep, and then would slide from the bed and slip away back to her own quarters.

He’d never told her to. Never would tell her to. In fact, more than once he’d attempted to convince her to stay the night, and every time she just smiled at him, a sparkle of laughter dancing in her bright eyes, and would shake her head. She didn’t give an answer, but he wasn’t stupid. She was a widow, had been married and been expecting a child. She enjoyed the company, liked being physical, and enjoyed the companioned silence as the lay together afterwards. She liked to watch him drift off into sleep, combing her fingers through his hair, feeling another body next to hers – even if it wasn’t the man she wanted it to be.

He’d fallen asleep like every other night she visited, but it had been light and restless, and he woke up hot and with his legs itching to move. The patch of bed to his side still lingered warmth from where Margaret had laid, and the thing in his chest rumbled lowly. He shoved it aside along with the blankets, as he stood, pulled on a pair of pants and slid into one of his casual training shirts, and padded out barefoot.

He could call a servant to get him something from the kitchens, a glass of cold milk, still thick with the thick froth foam on it – but his legs twitched and itched and his muscles burned to be active, and really, there was nobody awake at this hour and it would be more of ahassle to get a servant than to just go down there an get it himself.

Besides, he wanted to walk. Needed to stretch his legs if he had any hope of getting back to bed.

The kitchen doors were thick, heavy wood that locked in the sounds of banging pots and bustling servants, of chef’s shouting and things being knocked over. Great for not being able to have to hear metal clattering throughout the castle halls, not so great when you were going to get a midnight drink and were supposed to be watching out for sexual trysts happening between your manservant and one of your father’s knights.

Arthur pushed through the door and was well into the kitchen, a step and a half to be exact, door just about to fall away from his hand, when he jerked to a halt in his tracks. Half naked Baiwen was sitting on the edge of one of the long kitchen tables, Merlin kneeled on the table over him, naked – fully and completely, no half-torn shirt, no pants around his ankles – riding the knight hard, his pale, sweat slicked legs glistening in the light of the slumbering coals in the large kitchen fireplace behind them.

He’d always thought Merlin was rather skinny. Flesh and bone and that was about it.

But Merlin was more than that. He was pale skin and taunt muscle, wiry and bony, only emphasized when he was like this – fingers gripping roughly into Baiwen’s bare shoulders, nails almost breaking skin, thighs flexing with every transfer of motion from almost sitting in Baiwen’s lap, to bringing himself up – up until Baiwen’s thick, glistening cock was almost completely free – and back down, slamming down and impaling himself on the man.

This Merlin had taut muscle, developed from a life of labor in fields, of carrying and picking and throwing and playing and sowing.

This Merlin was long and lean, was strong and experienced and demanding. He threw his head back and let out loud groans of pleasure, protected by the thick doors of the kitchen, and urged on by low, wordless murmurs of Baiwen, who clutched a bony hip in one large, massive paw of a hand, as the other slid up Merlin’s back, pulling Merlin into him as he leaned forward to press his lips to sweat slicked, white skin.

This Merlin made little choking noises in the back of his throat as Baiwen sucked his nipples and bruised his hips. He rode Baiwen harder as the knight abandoned the second perked, spit slicked bud and went back to the first, mouthing something against Merlin’s skin before baring his teeth and biting down, making Merlin let out another loud noise, something between a moan and a keening cry.

“Baiwen.”

The thing in Arthur’s chest, the prowling heat that seemed to constantly be angry, the thing he’d been consistently ignoring – roared, furious. And although Arthur knew what the thing was, knew and refused to pay it any mind, it was still shocking to feel the anger thrumming through his veins at the sound of another name passing Merin’s lips.

Baiwen smiled against Merlin’s chest, features caving into lust and pleasure and ecstasy for a moment before he clambered for control of himself. “I do not think,” he panted into Merlin’s chest, still licking and sucking and nipping his way across the pale flesh, leaving buds of pink in his wake, “the prince would approve of your nightly activities.”

Merlin’s parted lips curved into a smile, a soft noise that might have been a mewl sliding from his throat as Baiwen rolled his hips up into him, and brought his head down to look at Baiwen. But it took a moment for his eyes to focus, and instead of looking into the eyes of the man who now had both hands on his hips, the man who was starting to take control and adjust their rhythm, the man whose cock was thrusting into his ass, hips rolling and gyrating, he was looking across the room at Arthur.

Arthur’s cock, hard and hot in his pants, twitched, leaking pre-come, and the thing that rumbled unhappily in his chest, had a passing feeling of satisfaction at the way something bright and quick and suspiciously close to surprise darted through Merlin’s eyes.

But Merlin did not slow, did not stop. His fingers clenched harder into Baiwen’s shoulders, hips easily giving way to the hard grip of the knight under him, letting Baiwen change the pace, and said in a low, gravely voice that was all lust and pleasure and nothing else, “I don’t think he’d care,” before Baiwen growled low in his throat and ground tightly up into him, making Arthur’s manservant close his eyes, mouth going slack with surprise and pleasure, another soft noise leaking out of him.

“Tighten up for me,” Baiwen moaned, voice heavy, breath hard.

And Merlin, eyes shut, head dropped forward, refusing to look back up at Arthur, demanded, “Harder.”

The beast in Arthur’s chest snarled and snapped and threatened to burst from his very body, as Arthur stepped back into the hall, thick kitchen door slipping shut silently in front of him, leaving him alone in darkness, silence echoing heavily in his ears.

:: NEXT :: Possibly Slightly Fantastic
Comments 
9th-Dec-2008 06:27 pm (UTC)
Well, you already know that I love it. :D
9th-Dec-2008 06:27 pm (UTC)
That I do.

That I do.
9th-Dec-2008 06:32 pm (UTC)
Oh poor Arthur! When's Merlin going to come to his senses? :D
9th-Dec-2008 06:33 pm (UTC)
Heee!

Or, when is Arthur going to get over his pride and just ravage Merlin? XD
9th-Dec-2008 07:53 pm (UTC)
I saw this come up on my flist and went "OMG MOAR PORN" and you delivered, bb. you delivered indeed. ♥
9th-Dec-2008 08:02 pm (UTC)
Haha! I was a little concerned because there's really not as much porn in this one as there was in the others. Or maybe I'm becoming porn desensitized.

OMG - I DO NOT WANT TO BE DESENSITIZED TO PORN!! D8

Glad you liked it. ♥
9th-Dec-2008 07:56 pm (UTC)
OMG YAY! TABLE SEX! Sorry getting carried away.
Ooh so now Merlin knows Arthur's watching. That was mean though,

“I don’t think he’d care,”

That will really hurt. Arthur's jelousy monster is gonna go nuts!

This series is so amazing. Loving it!
9th-Dec-2008 08:06 pm (UTC)
HEEEE!! TABLE SEX!!

Yeah, but, really, Merlin doesn't think Arthur would care, or really should care. I mean, Merlin's just a manservant who Arthur treats okay and, sure Arthur lets Merlin talk back to him, but he also sends Merlin to the stocks and all that as well.

Merlin, basically, isn't thinking properly. XD

Glad you're enjoying it!
9th-Dec-2008 08:11 pm (UTC)
Oh, I made a terribly embarrassing noise when I saw this on my flist. Guh, it was so hot. When is Arthur just going to ravage Merlin senseless already?!?! Wonderful job.
9th-Dec-2008 08:51 pm (UTC)
Heeehehehe! Embarrassing noises FTW. Especially because my fic made it happen. *feels nerdastically happy*

Don't worry. I'm sure Arthur's will power and brain cells are waring down. No doubt he'll cave and fuck Merlin through the floor soon.

...probably. XD
9th-Dec-2008 08:20 pm (UTC)
wow that was brilliant!! I've been waiting for this part since reading the last and you didn't disappoint.
I'm totally addicted to this, poor Arthur. Hope you update soon, I want to know what happens next! :)
9th-Dec-2008 08:52 pm (UTC)
Awe, thanks! I fear disappointing people, so it's good when I don't!

WOOO!! ADDICTION!!

More will happen. That's what. More sex.
9th-Dec-2008 08:33 pm (UTC)
ahdsdsdghsdghsdj *NEEDS TO READ MORE*
9th-Dec-2008 08:52 pm (UTC)
alk;sdjf;aklsjdfaskl;djf *NEEDS TO WRITE MORE*
9th-Dec-2008 08:38 pm (UTC)
I am this close to getting Merlin, tieing him up and leaving him naked in Arthur's chambers just so Arthur will hurry up and pounce on him! xD
I'm starting to like this knight less and less poor Arthur! :(

Update soon?? :D
9th-Dec-2008 08:54 pm (UTC)
I am this close to getting Merlin, tieing him up and leaving him naked in Arthur's chambers just so Arthur will hurry up and pounce on him!
HAHAHAHA!! In a fic titled, "Merlin's Still Not At All Fantastic In Any Way, But The New Servant Girl Wolfie Most Definitely Is"

Don't worry, update will come soon. [info]scifijunkie likes to ride my ass to get more porn from me.

...

...

That didn't come out right...
9th-Dec-2008 09:20 pm (UTC)
Guh, this series just get hotter. Come on Arthur, make your move! Great story *g*
9th-Dec-2008 09:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you! ♥ So happy your enjoying it.
9th-Dec-2008 09:57 pm (UTC)
Oh, I do think he cares. Yay! ^^
9th-Dec-2008 09:59 pm (UTC)
I do think he cares too!! ♥
9th-Dec-2008 10:08 pm (UTC)
Omg, it's going to be soooooo hot when Arthur finally goes all 'I AM YOUR MASTER' *WHIPCRACK* ... mmm, angry sex Arthur ...
9th-Dec-2008 10:12 pm (UTC)
HEEE!!

Yes, the eventual Arthur/Merlin sex is going to be absolutely awesome.

Oh the pressure!
9th-Dec-2008 10:41 pm (UTC)
Rrrrowr!

Looking forward to the day Arthur finally gets his way ;)
9th-Dec-2008 10:46 pm (UTC)
I do believe we all are. XD ♥
9th-Dec-2008 10:47 pm (UTC)
Holy fuck. *flails arms* Wow. I'd been wondering if Merlin knew & was trying to make Arthur snap, but he was surprised? Wow. I really really really need more of this. Please?
9th-Dec-2008 10:54 pm (UTC)
Hehehehehe!!

Yes indeed - Merlin did not know Arthur was spying on him. Did not know because he was too distracted by the fact that he was being sexed up! XD

There will be more. Have no fear!
9th-Dec-2008 11:17 pm (UTC)
“Tighten up for me,” Baiwen moaned, voice heavy, breath hard.

That right there just about killed me. My brain definitely shorted out, that's why I had to wait to comment in the morning instead of when I read this last night. *loves*

“I don’t think he’d care,”

Oh Merlin, you have no clue do you? LOL I can't wait to see what Arthur does now. *bounces impatiently*
9th-Dec-2008 11:35 pm (UTC)
My brain definitely shorted out

Hehehehehehe. Is it horrible that I am perversely happy that I shorted out your brain?

Oh Merlin, you have no clue do you?

Very much how cannon Merlin is, my Merlin is a little clueless. *pats Merlin on the head* It's okay, we love him and his simple-ness.
9th-Dec-2008 11:26 pm (UTC) - you know it's working--
--when your reader spends the entire piece of fiction thinking, "come on come on come on come on--Arthur, for fuck's sake, already!"

Looking forward to what will follow.
9th-Dec-2008 11:36 pm (UTC) - Re: you know it's working--
"come on come on come on come on--Arthur, for fuck's sake, already!"

hahahaha! Happy you're liking it so far. Hope I can continue to please. :D
10th-Dec-2008 01:23 am (UTC)
“Tighten up for me,” Baiwen moaned, voice heavy, breath hard.

Well. Well, well, well. NGH. ♥ I have no words to articulate my admiration for your porn-fu.

I simply cannot wait for the audible crack! of Arthur's pride. I can only hope it will involve a wall in some way.
10th-Dec-2008 01:27 am (UTC)
Dude, I have porn-fu!!

Do I get some, like, awesome superhero name or something, too?

Heeeee!! That would be the crack of Arthur's headboard, once he finally gets over himself and gets Merlin into bed...
10th-Dec-2008 01:27 am (UTC)
Oh dearest Arthur, you are so very, very silly. You must order your manservant to desist and pleasure you instead. Failing that; you must enjoy a hot threesome.

Merlin, you idiot, you must not enrage Arthur, he can have your head. Or the rest of you if you so wish. I advise you to make it up to your prince slowly and many times over. It's obvious you have the skill. ;)

Safe to say I fangirl this fic. :D TBH, I love that Merlin is with someone else. Usually it's Arthur but even princes have to earn what they get. Or in my world they do. :P
10th-Dec-2008 01:37 am (UTC)
Failing that; you must enjoy a hot threesome.
hehehehe. Though, I don't actually think Baiwen would be so into this. He rather likes having Merlin to himself.

Merlin, you idiot, you must not enrage Arthur, he can have your head.
Come on, we all know Merlin's a little slow when it comes to picking things up. Unfortunately he suffers the same mental stuntedness when it comes to picking up on the fact that Arthur's starting to get hard every time he sees him. XD

TBH, I love that Merlin is with someone else.
Awe!! Thank you! I actually kind of like Baiwen, and I like that someone is enjoying Merlin having a relationship outside of Arthur. I mean, of course they're meant to be together. But I find it a little weird that everybody in fandom thinks Merlin would just kind of fall head over heels for Arthur (who really is a prick more often than not, though he has strange flashes of friendliness), and is somehow completely innocent to the ways of sex. Why would Merlin not have a sex life in Camelot?!

Why?!

Thank you! *huggles* Your comment made me so very happy.
10th-Dec-2008 01:33 am (UTC)
I think Arthur needs to punch Baiwen in the face.

<3
10th-Dec-2008 01:37 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHAHA!! ♥
10th-Dec-2008 01:49 am (UTC)
I think I'm going to die and scream if Arthur doesn't get to have Merlin soon. This tension and anger is overwhelming!

You've probably guessed, but I LOVED this chapter!
10th-Dec-2008 02:00 am (UTC)
Heeee! Well, very happy you're enjoying it all. I promise, the tension will end soon.

... maybe. XD
10th-Dec-2008 02:13 am (UTC)
Yay! I was waiting for this. I see you continue to torture Arthur in a very, very hot way. Can't wait to see what Arthur will do in the next installment.

Loved it!
10th-Dec-2008 05:55 am (UTC)
*grin* Well, I've decided that if I'm not going to beat the shit out of Arthur physically, I can do it emotionally - through sex (or lack their of.... XD)

Thank you!
10th-Dec-2008 02:17 am (UTC)
I think Arthur needs to hurry the fuck up and GET ON WITH THE POSESSIN'.

But, as much as I want that to happen, I adore the way you're building this up. The boys are so dim. ♥

Well done!
10th-Dec-2008 05:56 am (UTC)
think Arthur needs to hurry the fuck up and GET ON WITH THE POSESSIN'.
HEHEHEHEHE!! *evil grinning*

The boys are rather dim. *sigh* So sad.
10th-Dec-2008 07:16 am (UTC)
Oh. My god. You are seriously going to kill me. You know that, right?

GUH.
10th-Dec-2008 05:30 pm (UTC)
Oh noez! Don't want to do that! D8

*sigh*

Guess I'll have to write more porn for you, as incentive to live...
10th-Dec-2008 10:04 am (UTC)
honestly it was the best sexual relationship a guy could ask for.
One word, Arthur bb. HAREM.

F;WEKAFE',P;AFKAF,E MERLIN!MUSCLE HOLY FUCK

LFW.Em,flf'ka,few;lfjmnalke.kfmekfajfmeoLFBWEANFEKjhenhkanfueikfejamfwkafnemwalwkanfwafwjD,POWQfj0[9POD LK OLAJWQMfoilwjmFPOQlfjeFPOLKFN

Dear Laura,

You now pwn my ass.

Love,
RO

LFWKE;JAFMEWA;LFJAMFEWL SHIT HAVE MY BABIES.
10th-Dec-2008 05:32 pm (UTC)
One word, Arthur bb. HAREM.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ♥

MERLIN!MUSCLE HOLY FUCK
...
...
I take it you liked this? *g*

LFW.Em,flf'ka,few;lfjmnalke.kfmekfajfmeoLFBWEANFEKjhenhkanfueikfejamfwkafnemwalwkanfwafwjD,POWQfj0[9POD LK OLAJWQMfoilwjmFPOQlfjeFPOLKFN
*sits back and is amused*

You now pwn my ass.
*pwns an ass*

HAVE MY BABIES.
This is a tempting offer. ♥
10th-Dec-2008 11:30 am (UTC)
Arthur really should be learning that no where is safe in his castle now and I'm going to assume that there is going to be words about it now...I love it though, it's a fantastic series :D
10th-Dec-2008 05:33 pm (UTC)
NOWHERE is safe! DUN DUN DUUUUHHHHHNNNNN!!!

*cough*

Thank you muchly for the comment. :D So happy you're liking it.
10th-Dec-2008 02:21 pm (UTC)
Poor Arthur! He can't escape seeing them everywhere! He should challenge Baiwen to a duel. Or something. :D Whenever a new part to this shows up I literally squeal out loud.
10th-Dec-2008 05:40 pm (UTC)
/headdesk

I wrote you a comment and then closed the tab and... /cries

I dun wanna duel! I kind of like Baiwen.

Don't worry about him though - he has to be getting back to his wife and kids soon. *shoo's Baiwen from castle*
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